MindsBase

Marley & Me, I submit, is not — I repeat, NOT — a dog movie.

That’s what I’ve determined after seeing it for the second time last night. My daughter wanted to rent it because she thinks it is one. But I wanted to rent it because I knew better.

Because it is better than a boring old dog movie.

I won’t say I cried (on second viewing, no less) because I don’t cry at movies. But there may have been a little hard blinking.

See, Marley & Me uses a dog to take us through the seasons of life — specifically the seasons as they change from spring to summer. As a man and woman’s lives change from being about themselves to being about their family. It just happens to be told within the framework of a puppy growing into an old man-dog.

Marley provides a fair amount of the funny of this movie, but he also helps us get a window into the hearts of the main characters, Jenny (played by Jennifer Aniston) and John Grogan (Owen Wilson). Nothing really horrible happens. There’s a mild couple’s quarrel here and there, just the friction that comes from rubbing up so closely against another person’s life. That friction which rubs off the rough corners of our selves.

In a way, I  identify with this movie because it has a wonderfully talented (and beautiful, of course) woman choosing marriage and family over career, and depicts the normal ups and downs to a tee. It also shows a guy making career choices that are not only in line with his personal ambitions, but that suit the needs of his family. He’s striving for balance, and you admire him for it. I like seeing people sacrifice their own desires for a greater good. What greater good is there, really, then a happy family?

I haven’t read the memoir (of the same name) that the movie is based on, but I like the idea that a memoir can make a good story… even if it is just about people like you and me. What we do every day — choosing dependability, choosing responsibility, choosing to love others more than you love yourself — does make the world turn. We are the builders of humanity. For real, dude.

Too heavy? Well, if all you want is to commiserate about your aging dog, the movie provides ample grounds for that emotion, too. See the picture there? This is my old girl, Pesto. No, not the sauce. Though she is saucy, yeah. My husband and I, when we first got the runty little pointer mix from doggy jail, named her after the secretary character from the TV show Moonlighting. I know. We thought it was funny: Ms. Agnes dePesto.

Pesto.

She’s now fourteen years old, and I could write a book about the crazy little stories of her life, too. When she gorged herself on dog food and could hardly walk, when she jumped off the boat trying to reach the dogfish we’d snagged (we had to snag her, then), when she met each of our children and wholeheartedly opened her heart (and tongue) to them. But her last chapter is coming to a close now. Her time is near. She’s had a good run. Been a great dog. None better, I think. You forgive me the hard blinking, right?

Did you avoid seeing Marley & Me because it looked like another Benji or Beethoven? Well, go rent it. Though, perhaps it is. I didn’t see Benji or Beethoven. Maybe boring old dog movies aren’t bad at all!

I’m not going to rate this one — you may not like it at all. It’s a personal story, you’ll have to see how it hits you, eh?

As a real, bona fide grown up, I’ve learned something about life. Not a lot, but at least this one thing:

The more you appreciate the things in your life — whether they be good or bad — the happier you are.The more you expect things to be a certain way, the more you are likely to be unhappy; the more your joy is conditioned upon your circumstances.

My first manuscript

So, a few things I am grateful for this Thanksgiving season:

1. I’m thankful that I have to beg, borrow and steal time to be able to write. It makes me treasure the moments I spend creating stories.
2. I’m thankful to have struggled financially for the past decade, for that has made me realize how little we need to live — how we don’t need things to make us happy. I’m grateful that my kids have learned this lesson, too.
3. I’m grateful to drive an old, beat up car that I never take the time to wash (see #1), so my kids have a renewable canvas for their love notes to me. I’m most thankful for the moments I spend in said car chatting about the world with the most important people in my life.
4. I’m grateful for a marriage that has grown from youthful adoration to a deep and resounding love that makes Hollywood movies look shallow and trite.
5. I’m grateful for a God that loves me enough to tailor my trials, just for me, so I can become my best self (over time. Like, a looong time.)

Hmm, I was seeing if I could be thankful for my challenges instead of my blessings. It made me feel lucky even for the hard things! And yes, my awesome marriage is on the list of trials — anyone with a lasting marriage will agree. I tell ya, sometimes, everyone hates their spouse. It’s what you do then that counts.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

While I’m on the pro-family kick, I think I’ll review The Family Man (from 2000, Nicolas Cage and Tea Leoni), which is another pro-family movie.

(Though, like Spanglish, it is not an all-ages movie — it’s also PG-13.)

The Family Man is about a wall street executive who gets a chance to see the life’s road he didn’t take — the one of marriage and family vs. high-powered career. A “what might have been” story.

Now, the last movie Nicolas Cage was in that I really liked was Raising Arizona, so I remember that I didn’t have high hopes when I first saw this. But his pairing with Tea Leoni (also from Spanglish) was so charming I was taken in.

For instance, when he wakes on the second morning of his “glimpse” he hears the baby cry and goes to the bathroom door where his wife is showering to tell her about it. She can’t hear him because she’s singing in the shower (Rolling Stones, no less) so he must open the door to get her attention. The look on his face when he must deal with her nudity (not shown on camera, but firmly implied through the obscure glass) as a non-sexual event is PRICELESS, as is her annoyed “what’s the problem” attitude of a woman who has been married for thirteen years and is interrupted in the midst of an otherwise perfect shower experience.

Okay, found the vid — right at the beginning of this clip on YouTube. I warned you of the semi-nudity right? But finish my review first because once you start the clip, you won’t want to stop as he tries to change the baby’s diaper and deal with the daughter’s awareness that he is not actually her dad.

There are some great lines in this movie, like when Cage tries to have it all by moving his family into the city so he can work for his pre-glimpse firm, and he tells the upset Leoni that he wants to give her a life that people will envy.

“They already do envy us,” she says. And she’s so right — yes, some people envy those with worldly success. But another class of people value personal, family success even more. It’s the kind of movie that makes you question which class of person you are.

And of course, the movie’s mantra: “I choose us.” It’s Jerry Maguire-worthy!

This one gets four out of five nods.

I watched Spanglish last night, and it was nothing like what I thought it’d be. I hoped it wouldn’t be like The Waterboy or Big Daddy or several other Adam Sandler films, but I didn’t expect it to be more serious and real than 50 First Dates. It is his most mature film to date, hands down.

Hopefully, people didn’t go into this movie looking for a love story like Dates (or a crude farce like Waterboy) because this movie actually had something to say — something Hollywood almost never says.

So what did this movie (which was, incidentally, funny and charming as well) say?

It showed parents sacrificing their own happiness for their kids’ well-being. It showed them choosing family obligation over momentary pleasure. It showed them, in short, being responsible grown ups.

Shocking, I know!

Well, not Tea Leoni’s character, but she was the catalyst for the story, and she played her part so that you both laughed at her and felt sorry for her. It was a razor-fine line. She must be a pretty great actress.

But Adam Sandler and Paz Vega played their concerned parent roles well, and it became obvious that Sandler believes in this story. He didn’t set himself up as a perfect man, but as a real one, trying desperately to hold his family together.

The show-stealers were the two daughters, though. Shelbie Bruce as Vega’s Mexican-born, Americanized daughter and Sarah Steele as Sandler’s kind, grounded, charming daughter. It was those two parent-daughter relationships that made the film, and these two actresses did wonderful jobs.

Two things were wrong with this film:

1. The Title — come on, who thought this was a good idea? Yes, a language barrier is a part of the movie, and you could even argue that the two people communicating the worst were Sandler and his wife! But the word Spanglish is just plain ugly. Words have shape and sound, and much like Susan Sarandon’s movie Stepmom, this title kept me away from the film. It doesn’t say heartwarming movie to me.

2. The Teasers — this movie is grossly mis-billed as a “zany” comedy, which, aside from Leoni’s incredibly strange sex scene, is way off. Here’s what Netflix’s blurb says about Spanglish:

Cultures clash with a mighty clang in this comedy of manners and mayhem directed by James Brooks. When a beautiful Mexican housekeeper, Flor (Paz Vega), is hired by a rich Los Angeles family, everyone’s life is upended in hilariously zany ways, especially when the parents (Tea Leoni and Adam Sandler) make it their mission to be so welcoming that they become overwhelming — especially the dad, who’s quickly smitten by Flor’s beauty.

This makes it sound like Sandler plays a guy who would start an affair with his housekeeper right under his wife’s nose, which is really the opposite of the events of the movie. And using words like “hilarious” and “mayhem” makes it sound like fluff when it is substance (with flair). And it led me to worry all through the final moments of the film that the whole movie setup was just to get the two leads into bed. Thankfully, it wasn’t, and if you haven’t seen this movie, be forewarned. It is a movie about parents and children more than about men and sex. Hurrah for that!

Think I’ll start rating the things I review… how about nods? I give this four out of five nods. If you’ve been avoiding Spanglish for fear it is like Big Daddy, don’t worry. It has its priorities straight. See it.

= 4 nods